She Runs and He doesn’t!- its Survival Kit!
Disclaimer: This is no Agony Aunt providing you with a pain patch- all offers to resolve are subject to market risk. You may try the fixes at your own peril. The authors don’t owe you any legal or moral responsibility whatsoever to the consequences or ill-effects of your misadventure of following the insane counsel proffered!
“A (wo)man wants too many things before marriage, but only peace after it.”
And the call for peace becomes even more shrill if only one of them is a runner!
This may be a familiar scene at many a home, where the partner was not a sports personality while getting hitched and somewhere down the line (middle age if you may) one of them decided to experiment with recreational running and all the colorful accessories that go with it!
Gripe # 1:
You never wake up so early when you have an errand/when I need you to support me!
With all the marathon events and group/chapter training runs/strength training session tied for early mornings in the 5-7 am window, one obediently listens to the multiple alarms and is on time to wake up and mark attendance for the training roll call like a highly disciplined soldier!
But seldom does one wake up (or so the allegation would be from the much maligned spouse who’s the chief motivator for this blog!) when one has to drop a kid off early at school or pick up in-laws from the airport/station!
Gripe #2:
You keep travelling all over the country and world with your friends, spend millions on your travel, stay, and gear. You never have the time for us; nothing called family life- you are there; yet not there when the family needs you.
Gripe #3:
You are fatigued. Irritable before and after the run/event/training. You’ve changed! You’ve become anti-social!
Are these some of the popular gripes your spouse has against you -the recreational runner-if yes, well you aren’t alone- there would be an endless list and would be variations stemming out of some form of insecurity, fear, anxiety or depression of the non-running spouse
Root Cause Analysis:
Depression– coz you aren’t seen around as much and am unable to run!- this can manifest in any inexplicable form-unpredictable mood swings, erratic social behavior, hatred towards fluorescent tees and accessories, hostility towards the running community in general!
Fear/Anxiety– about your health, as you run and train for hours on end like a maniac
Insecurity– are you still engaged with the family!
Resolution of the stale-mates:
Find Balance– Indulge in your passion, but provide unfiltered time while being with family, whether it be chores, your ordained duties, splitting of responsibilities or emotional support
Find Reason– most of them will sound beyond reason while they pile onto your obsessions- well, as long as it is within your emotional intelligence to reason out, do so , in the interest of sanity and domestic peace.
Shun arguments– Just shut up, if provoked- you anyways have your runners high to fall back on-your significant other does not have any fall-back!
Grin and strengthen- It its beyond you to resolve, don’t! .. just learn to take it in your stride.. you guys will learn to co-exist without broaching this uncomfortable topic and messing your mind!
If you cant beat em join em- goes the popular line..
The traumatized spouse could say:
If they cant beat you.. enlist them!
After all:
Most of the husband’s life-
Is spent in doing –
Research on his wife! And vice versa depending on which side you are…
Rajaram PV
Bessie Dreamers
#LetUsRunSoTheyCanWalk #RunClean #RunResponsible #SheShouldRun